cuban boys interview
(November 1988)

Chuck D:

I'm goin' to my media assassin
Harry Allen, I gotta ask him
"Yo, Harry, you're a writer, are we that type?"

Harry Allen:

Don't belive the hype.

(Public Enemy, "Don't believe the hype" (Def Jam) 1988)

Ten years on, when the Cuban Boys asked Harry Allen the same question, he leapt into the pulpit and made like Billy Graham...that's right, he believes in the hype because, other than a handful of Cuba Will Eat Itself poptastic tracks crammed with enough samples to ensure that full release is a royalty-dividing mathematical impossibility, that's what these latino lads do. They spam themselves across all media, creating mystery and myth, spreading misinformation and disinformation with a few well-chosen words and well-placed demo tapes. They keep their identities wrapped in several layers of pseudonym and generally lark about like two young scamps locked in a joke shop wearing only their nylon Y-fronts.

Now with a profile larger than Barry Manilow's and on the verge of their debut live show we ask them about some other significant firsts in their lives. The Cuban Boys on this occasion are Skreen and Q-bahn. (All the questions come from the bizarre press release that accompanied the Brothers in Sound e.p., reviewed elsewhere.)

First...

...kiss

Our first kiss was placed upon Frank Chacksfield, it was a posthumous embrace that sparked fireworks.

...shag

The CUBAN BOYS remain clinically aloof to physical procreation, pleasures of the airwaves are our most preferred form of reproduction.

...crush

Skreen: the dinner queue at school until I forged a pass for art class, thus allowing me to by-pass the proletariat in favour of an early lunch and the freedom to roam the corridors unhindered. Intelligent people understand that art does have some important uses in a modern society.
Q-Bahn: "Jellyhead"

...record

Skreen: "The Bump", Kenny---every action has an equal and opposite reaction, though sometimes it takes a while.
Q-Bahn: "My Camera Never Lies", Bucks Fizz---a shimmering cut-glass production and melodic perfection

...wank

Visionaries can ill-afford to limit their potential through hedonistic indulgencies.

...fight

The CUBAN BOYS reject all forms of violence, from the laughable "sports" of boxing and hunting to general thuggery. They are, however, rock, so watch it.

...night out

The CUBAN BOYS reject the concept of time and consider night as nothing more than daytime with shadows cast by synthetic means.

...time you hated your parents

the CUBAN BOYS exist through the creation of sound waves, not through a biological progression.

...time you saw a dead person

Every person we have ever seen will, in time, be dead, the world is a walking mortuary (especially Bexhill-on-Sea!!).

...lie to get out of being arrested

In a recent trip to London the CUBAN BOYS were detained by the Metropolitan Police under suspicion of being rent boys. The main thrust to our defence was our statement "We are the CUBAN BOYS---you might have heard of us". Naturally we were released without charge.

...time you felt threatened

Every waking moment of the flippant charade we call our lives.

...cigarette

Skreen: Aged 8, from a foreign student at an aircraft museum, had one drag and never touched another. I consider fire as a deterent to creation.
Q-Bahn: Late 80's, behind some bike sheds in a "could have been scripted" moment.

...cigarette you stole from a friend's pocket while they were out of the room

Skreen: why bother? much better to steal the matches!!

...time you cheated on someone

the CUBAN BOYS are fine, upstanding entities---they never cheat, they might, however, re-write the rules from time-to-time

...time you fell in love

Q-Bahn: Ahh (sniff)....Sarah Britton....'twas unrequited but she was ace!
Skreen: It was a teacher, I am attracted to all forms of education.

...bought into the hype

Skreen: Sigue Sigue Sputnik, willingly
Q-Bahn: B*Witched---they cavort, I spend

...gave up on a book

the Bible, fiction should be imaginative!!

...saw a naked person

All people are naked to us, the CUBAN BOYS are blessed with X-Rated vision and rose-tinted ears.

...time you saw a naked person in your bed

the CUBAN BOYS are famed for choosing penthouse suites with mirrored ceilings above the beds, it is not a sexual thing, merely an apparatus for observing a reverse perspective of ourselves.

...speed (1) were pulled over for... (2) rolled up a fiver for

Skreen: (1) boyracing should be reserved for the playstation (2) drugs should be reserved for those people that lack imagination.
Q-Bahn: drugs should also be reserved for those people that like "Imagination" (i.e the pop group hoho)

...saw the same film twice

Skreen: Groundhog Day!!!! Blade Runner/Breakfast at Tiffany's (which should always be viewed in b&w)
Q-Bahn: Ghostbusters!

...time you were sick in public

the CUBAN BOYS are rarely in public and on those rare occasions we tend to use the time more wisely

So, you've still not found out very much about these shady characters have you? Except that while you and me grew out of our childhood fantasies (X-ray eyes: I could never get mine to work and Bazooka Joe ripped me off with his con-trick X-ray specs!) when our balls dropped/tits grew (delete as applicable) the Cuban Boys have kept theirs very much alive and are now living them out. But not the ones about sex and drugs. Contact the Cuban (School)boys at Chipping House, Cottage, Hesketh Lane, Chipping, Lancashire PR3 2TH or cubanboys@bigfoot.com www.visitweb.com/cubanboys.