Porn Flakes, The number of the beef (Grappler Unlimited) CD

The thing I like about metal is that it's one of those genres where you can tell instantly whether or not you'll like a record by looking at the sleeve. Think back to Kiss's "Double platinum" and then try not to think back to "Crazy nights," for example. Imagine, then, what this sleeve would mean to you: Iron Maiden script for the band name, a Maiden-punning title in dripping-blood script and an Eddyesque butcher reaching for a satanic cow. Oh, and a prominent "parental advisory" sticker worn like a battle honour. You're thinking the same as me? Cheesy name, piss-take artwork? Shit band? Yep? NO!

Cast your preconceptions aside---only 30 seconds into opener "Unblind" and we're already ripping off a chunk of Public Enemy's "Don't believe the hype" to a hip hop/thrash mixture that shows where Anthrax could have taken "Bring the noise" and how far we've come since the lamentable white-boy rapping of the Surf MCs' "Surf or die." For the most part, the remaining 13 tracks are solid speed metal with hip hop overtones, slight RHCP tendencies and lashings of swearing with some pretty puerile lyrical content in places ("eating more pussy than a bowling alley full of dykes") redeemed somewhat by the excellent and thoughtful "Plight of idiots" and nothing like as OTT as the first Bodycount LP (but nothing like as funny either.) "Acting like Black Sabbath" slows down to a grind/riff parody of the Sabs and "Moo jack hustler" is trashily bombastic as it rejects vegetarianism (hence the sleeve picture). Overall then: musically excellent, lyrically dodgy in places. Apparently a scream live as well. PO Box 2507, Toledo, OH 43606, USA

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